A reflection by primary school leader and guest blogger David Rushby (@DavidNautilus1), on how to achieve summer rest after an intense year.

Year after year I had the same pattern of behaviour. On the last day of school, after a particularly demanding term, the school doors would close. But not before I’d made sure that the children were safely home, the families satisfied, the staff team off site, and the phones silent. The situation was then perfectly poised. The sunshine, the free time, the family plans. A time of reward and recreation. Or at least it was supposed to be, but it never seemed to be that simple.

Not an easy transition

It’s not an easy transition. Moving from a situation where you have to work very intensively, to one where you have a new found freedom. You know that you’ve worked really hard all year and that this is a very special moment, where you can leave the school, go home and then be really happy. All of the time. For 6 weeks. This is what I would be saying to myself, but the happiness would take a little time to really hit the soul.

This is one of the reasons why the end of term could be emotionally difficult to understand and manage. Unknowingly, I’d be ramping up the pressure on myself. The chance to be with my family after dedicating so much time to others. It’s all very important, very well deserved, and just way too significant.

You deserve to rest but can’t

One of the most frustrating things is that you know that you deserve to have this rest but you really don’t know quite how to do it. You’re just not very good at it.

Once home, I’d wake up the next morning already with a sense of uncertainty. No staff to lead, support or answer to. No children and families needing me. I was redundant and I was unsure. This would inevitably conflict with how I should be feeling. I knew that I should have an overwhelming sense of satisfaction and contentment. But that contrast was just too much. I could be irritable, distant and pre-occupied. I would find myself sitting in front of the most beautiful sunset, with the most wonderful people, staring into space and wondering if we should use a bell or a whistle to conclude playtimes. For this reason, I’m not sure if I was the best of company at staff doo’s and end of year get togethers.

I would be too tired to process things and still too engaged to see things logically, and so the first weeks of the holiday became the solitary process of letting my shoulders drop. I can remember once dashing out of school and jetting of to Minorca with the family. Thinking about this now, I see again that this actually added to the tension. My pre-conceived idea of how things should feel whilst still being shackled to the school. I could become anxious and frustrated whilst on holiday knowing that this time was all too precious. We then began extending the holiday to allow time to come down. This worked. My family accommodated a window of time before they knew that would get me back in the room.

Why does this happen?

It’s good to acknowledge why all of this occurs. It’s important to recognise how natural, and common this feeling can be for head teachers and school leaders. It then begins to make perfect sense. It’s because you’ve given your all every day, mentally and physically, and this new-found freedom is not a little break – it’s a conclusion. Endings can be much harder to process than breaks.

It’s important that you can find those simple things that make you happy, and to be kind to yourself when your moments of frustration and despair may occur. It will take a little while to feel emotionally satisfied with the quiet life. I was much better when I was active. I researched the benefits of laziness, which enabled me to see resting as productive. You may not be comfortable or used to this idea, but this time is all about you.

You can take the boy out of the school, but it takes a little while, a little patience and a little kindness, to take the school out of the boy.

About David…

David is a primary school leader with 30 years of experience teaching and leading in large and diverse schools with significant challenge. After two successful headships, David co-created Nautilus, an innovative school improvement platform and finalist in this years BETT and ERA awards. David is also an associate school improvement partner for the local authority and the author of ‘Everything is Going to be Alright – a collection of headteacher short stories’.

Stories: https://everythingisgoingtobealright.webflow.io/

Twitter: @DavidNautilus1

Nautilus: www.nautilus.education

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