It’s been a year…

Well… it’s a year since I shut the door on the teaching career I once loved. It was not the end that I’d imagined or hoped for. Those who know me well, appreciate that this situation was the proverbial icing on the cake in what has been a rather challenging few years.

My Dad used to say to me that as parents, they would show me the doors and I would open the ones I wanted. I’m lucky to have had an upbringing that enabled me to have resilience and allowed me to find my own path; opening the doors I wanted and shutting those which didn’t resonate.

This particular door needed to be forced shut in order to open a better one – not that I knew that at the time. Like all new beginnings, people say that when one door closes another one opens, however they neglect to mention that during the transition, it’s hell in the hallway!

I’ve always aimed to make my parents proud and that has been a good motivator for me over the years. But now Dad is gone, I understand that it is not the headship that I aspired to that would have made him the most proud, instead it is the way I found myself in various large personal and professional holes and navigated my way out of them.

Clambering out of career holes has provided the skills and knowledge to support other school leaders and staff in challenging circumstances. It has also enabled me to petition for improvements in wellbeing in our schools. The most recent chasm, has also provided the skills for me to advocate for children with additional needs and their families.

Through various conversations with current heads, that headship that I fought so hard to get qualified for and obtain, would not have made me happy but supporting school leaders does!

Which leads me to now…

… and what a year it has been. I’m so very grateful to ex and new colleagues who have believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. You’ve stuck by me and I can call you friends.

To old friends and family who have always been on my side through thick and thin and who were often angry and frustrated at various situations on my behalf. Also to those who sit and listen tirelessly to my various education rants! Handily now I get paid to rant .

Finally, to new friends and colleagues I have made this year who have looked out for me, been part of my journey and reminded me about that thing called ‘fun’ that I used to have more of. You have certainly helped save my sanity!

I’ve had amazing adventures, tried new things that I thought I wouldn’t (like wild swimming ). Rekindled my romance with rock climbing and been party to a fair amount of laughter on the way.

The opportunities that have presented themselves since that day have been amazing – both personally and in a work capacity. I feel like me again and no longer like a cog in the education machine; blinkered to anything except the next challenge or deadline in front of it. No longer working towards goals or a system which has evolved in many areas, to be something that I don’t recognise or believe in any more.

Self-employment and life in general have of course not been without challenges and some days I wonder what on earth I’m doing when imposter syndrome starts to creep in! However, I will never again work for an organisation whose ideologies and integrity do not align with my own – going freelance has suited me perfectly (although my boss can be a bit of a taskmaster ).

I could not have done it alone.

There is no such thing as a self made man or woman. That person is a culmination of every single experience they have ever experienced. Whether that be an act of kindness to help them on their way, or a cutting remark that has fuelled the drive to succeed.

When we view other people who have had success, it’s easy to simply see talent and luck without noticing the hard graft, risk taking and low points that have shaped them.

The hole is where the seed is planted and the best growth happens .

On reflection, I’ve made the first strides towards living my best life and I couldn’t have done it without friends, family, colleagues, blog supporters and those who didn’t believe in me! A special thanks to those in that category for motivating me so effectively.

Thank you all for being a part of my journey. Looking forward to the next chapter!